Monday, July 12, 2021

From Recklessness to Fearlessness

On the day that I got accepted into my dream uni, I found out that I was pregnant. I was crushed as it was just a fling, and I blamed myself as we were not careful. As soon as I found the courage to tell him about the pregnancy, he took off. Blocked me everywhere and ignored me. I had no one that I could trust to be supportive, to turn to. And despite the guilt, fear and shame, the decision to end the pregnancy was the first thing I thought of while in my state of panic and denial.

I thought about how my ultra traditional Chinese family would react, and desperately wanted out. I thought about how hard I had worked to get into uni, and didn’t want anything to get in the way. I admit that I was also weak for bending into fear of stigma, but at my lowest point, abortion felt like the only way out without having a major impact on my life.

As I was able to make the decision early, the whole process was quick and straightforward, just a few hours at an outpatient clinic and I was on my way home. I was grateful that my doctor and the nurses who helped me were all so kind and non-judgmental. I also considered myself lucky that everything went smoothly for me. My advice to girls in similar situations is to make sure the clinic that you find is accredited by the Ministry of Health for abortion, and better still if your doctor is a certified gynaecologist. Or you can also go to any public hospital, I believe. The last thing we want after an emotional decision, is to have a medical procedure go wrong. So please do your due research. My clinic was based in Ang Mo Kio.

If I had the chance to go back in time, I definitely would’ve been so much more careful. As teenagers, we tend to be reckless and think that bad things wont ever happen to us. Only others. But it is not logical obviously and I know better now. It feels good to finally get all this out of my chest, and I hope my story helps others out there.

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From Recklessness to Fearlessness

On the day that I got accepted into my dream uni, I found out that I was pregnant. I was crushed as it was just a fling, and I blamed myself...